Vidaai – The Bride’s Farewell

One of the most recognizable moments of a Hindu marriage ceremony is the Vidaai, when the Bride’s family bids farewell to their daughter as she rides away with her new Husband. Also known as the Bidaai, based on which region is celebrating the ritual, this ritual is one of the most emotional stages of the wedding day for both the Bride and her parents. During the Kanyadaan ceremony the father of the Bride accepts the union of the Bride and Groom, however, the Vidaai is the official sendoff for his daughter.

Family and relatives of the Bride accompany her to the exit of the wedding venue, her parents leading the pack holding their daughter close. Before crossing the doorstep the Bride is given a handful of rice, and sometimes coins, which she is required to throw over her head behind her as she leaves. This is supposed to symbolize a repayment to her parents for all that they have given her throughout the years. She conveys good wishes for her parents and shows them gratitude for loving and caring for her all her life – by doing so she maintains that the house of her childhood remains happy and prosperous.

Females are considered the manifestation of the Goddess Lakshmi as per Hindu religion. She is the deity of wealth and prosperity and is observed during this ritual in order to ensure that her family preserves the values of wealth and prosperity as she leaves them.

The Father of the Bride is usually the last one in line to bid his daughter farewell before handing her off to her new life – her now husband. He requests of the Groom to care for his daughter and forgive her for her mistakes, to be a constant guide through their marital journey, essentially handing away his most cherished and beloved possession. This crucial moment defines this ritual and gives it its memorable emotional connection – a father’s love for his daughter in its true and raw form.

Bridal Party During the Vidaai

The couple steps into a car decorated and adorned for the occasion and commence their final farewell. The brother and cousins of the Bride help push the vehicle as an indication of their acceptance of their new voyage into marital bliss and watch as they drive away from the wedding venue. The female friends and relatives of the Bride however playfully stand in front of the car preventing the couple from leaving. The groomsmen and male relatives then remove the girls in order to help their ‘brother’ take his Bride away. Often times wedding guests throw coins or rice to ward off evil eye similar to their blessings during the marriage ceremony.

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Introduction to Joota Chupai

The typical Hindu Groom sports Joota, embroidered Indian footwear, on the day of his wedding. These shoes play a role in a jovial ritual that takes place following the Baraat ceremony. A tradition prevalent for centuries in Indian marriage customs, the Joota Chupai, also known as the Joota Chori, involves both the Bride and Groom’s side of the family, playing mischievous roles.

Joota Chupai Ritual

The ultimate goal of this tradition is to steal the Groom’s shoes, once he takes them off as part of South Asian custom, as he makes his way to the Mandap. The culprits, also known as the sisters, cousins and other female relatives of the Bride, then loot the shoes and find a discrete hiding place for them. Their objective is to achieve monetary gain later on following the marriage ceremony when the Groom needs his shoes to leave the venue.

The Groom’s side of the family attempts to thwart the females from taking the joota by poking fun and searching for the shoes as the ceremony proceeds. Following the ceremony, the Groom must search and implore the girls to give him his shoes back before he leaves the wedding venue, eventually holding his shoes ransom. The Groom’s family and friends are usually clueless while trying to find the joota and therefore the Groom is forced to negoitate in order to avoid paying up. For a very handsome fee, the girls surrender the joota, thus ending the ritual.

The game of the Joota Chupai is meant to show the acceptance and open hearts of both sides of the family and how willing and ready they are to share lifetime of laughter and fun together.

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Ashirwad – Blessings

The concluding step of the Hindu wedding ceremony results in the Ashirwad, translating from Sanksrit to blessings. The elders of the family play a crucial role in the setup of Hindu family structure, imparting their wisdom and love to the generations below them. This portion of the ceremony is both rewarding for the couple, the parents, and family involved as it the culminating moment defining the marriage of the Bride and Groom. It serves as confirmation of the acceptance of both families and the Bride and Groom as they embark on their life as a wedded couple.

After the priest declares the couple as Husband and Wife, the couple takes a bow from the Mandap stage towards all the invited guests thanking them for their attendance and graciously accepting them as their witnesses of their marriage. They seek Ashirwad from their parents, grandparents, and other elder family members in ranking order. As the couple makes their way down the aisle, guests shower them with rose petals or rice, offering their Ashirwad to the newlyweds, blessing them with a long and prosperous life ahead.
The close of the ceremony serves as a perfect start to the celebration the couple is about to embark on.

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Mangal Fera Ritual

Similar to the Saptapadi ritual of the Hindu Ceremony, Mangal Fera (also referred to as Mangal Phere) consists of the couple taking four circles, or ‘feras’ around the agni (sacred fire). Either ritual may be performed based on the variations of the ceremony. While Saptapadi is more common and also noticeably relevant to the Hindu ceremony, Mangal Fera is frequently used to highlight the four basic goals of life. Each of these four cycles represents a promise just as each phere does in the Saptapadi ritual. The couple begins their walk around the fire, each completed circle representing the four stages of life:

1) To pursue life’s religious and moral duty (Dharma)
2) To pursue prosperity (Artha)
3) To pursue earthly pleasures (Kama)
4) To pursue spiritual salvation (Moksha)

Unlike Saptapadi, the bride leads the groom on the first three pheras, while the groom takes over for the fourth and final step – signifying balance and completion in their marriage. When the couple makes their last round together, they rush back to their seats, racing to sit down first. As part of the tradition, it is said that whoever takes their seat first will be the ruler of the household.

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Mangalsutra Ritual

The Mangalsutra, a black and gold necklace with a gold or diamond pendant symbolizes good luck, love, and friendship. In Sanskirt, ‘mangala’ translates to sacred and ‘sutra’ to thread. Following the Hastamelap, the Bride moves to sit on the Groom’s left side, taking the closest position to the Groom’s heart. He then proceeds into the ceremony called Mangalya dharanam and places the Mangalsutra around her neck and applies sindoor, red vermillion (also known as kumkum), to the center of her forehead. These two offerings signify the Groom’s devotion to his Bride and the Bride’s new status as a married woman.

A ring exchange takes place following the offering of the Mangalsutra, where the couple commits to support each through the challenges that life may throw them, in happiness and sorrow, with unconditional love. The Mangalsutra carries immense importance in the Hindu wedding ceremony, as it is the moment where the couple expresses their commitment to one another.

Significance of Mangalsutra

The Mangalsutra beads contain the marks of Lord Vishnu and Shiva, protecting the Bride from evil powers. The Sindhoor is purposely not placed on the bride prior to the wedding ceremony due to its significance during the ritual. It not only serves as her rite of passage from a ‘girl’ to a married woman, but also her newly gained status of an adult who is capable of running a household.

The Tying of the Mangalsutra

The auspicious thread is prepared using turmeric paste which is yellow in hue, the same paste used during the Bride’s Haldi ceremony. While he recites Vedic mantras, the Groom ties three knots as he is placing the necklace around his Bride’s neck. It may vary depending on the Bride’s preference however it is traditional that the pendant be strung on this turmeric thread versus a gold and black beaded chain.

Brides may choose to re-string the pendant on a beaded chain in the months following the marriage. According to tradition, there are strong beliefs of superstition surrounding the Mangalsutra. The destruction or loss of the necklace is considered ominous and therefore holds great value not only as a symbolic representation of the marriage between the two, but a sacred protective token from the Gods.

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Hastmelap Ritual

Often grouped together in the Kanyadaan ceremony, the Hastmelap is translated from Sanskirt to mean ‘the joining of the hands’. The couple is united with the union of their hands in the presence of Agni Devta (the Lord of Fire), represented by the fire lit during the Vivaah Homa. The Bride places her right hand in the Groom’s right hand as per tradition. Then to strengthen their bond, the Groom’s sister or mother ties the ends of the scarves worn by the Bride and Groom together, signifying their unity and ‘tying the knot’ quite literally. The couple vows to treat others with respect love, compassion, and sympathy. They also pledge to show goodwill and affection to each other’s families.

Expectations from Married Life

The Hastmelap acts as the vow ceremony but in a traditional sense. This is the moment in their ceremony where the Bride and Groom communicate their expectations for their married life to each other. The Groom asks for the Bride’s acceptance for all his future endeavors for a successful life, while the Bride requests his support for a prosperous and healthy family life. They join hands and seek the blessings of the Gods, vowing to stay bonded for the rest of their lives. The tying of the scarves further solidifies this bond and union of the couple.

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Vivaah Homa

After the Kanyadaan takes place, the sacred fire is lit. The couple praises the Agni Devta, the Lord of Fire, in hopes of bringing the presence of Vishnu onto the ceremony. The Vivaah Homa is performed in order to indicate the purity of the upcoming rituals, all conducted with the help of the fire.

The Ritual of Vivaah Homa

The Priest lights up a small fire in a kund, or a copper bowl. The remainder of the wedding ceremony is conducted around this fire. It is created from ‘ghee’ (clarified butter) and woolen wicks. Mantras are recited by the Priest and repeated by the couple while obligations (crushed herbs, sandalwood, sugar, rice, and oil) are offered to the fire, symbolizing peace offerings to Lord Vishnu.

The Significance of Vivaah Homa

The phrase, “id na mama” is repeated over and over, translating to “it is not for me”, emphasizing the virtue of selflessness required in marriage. Agni (fire) is the mouth of Vishnu and symbolizes the light, power, knowledge and happiness. The Bride and Groom repeat the sacred pledge to request Lord Agni to be the messenger for their prayers to various gods: Santati (for healthy children), Sampatti (for wealth and prosperity), and Deergharogya (for long and healthy lives).

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Kanya Aagaman – The Arrival of the Bride

This ceremony is the Bride’s first appearance at the wedding. Although some Brides choose to meet the Groom before entering the wedding venue or following the Baraat, Kanya Aagaman is the Bride’s arrival to the Mandap to start the wedding rituals. The bride and the groom are separated by a white cloth and not allowed to see one another just yet.

Kanya Aagaman literally translates to ‘the arrival of the bride’. She is escorted to the Mandap by her maternal uncle and aunt, signifying the acceptance of the union from the maternal side of the Bride’s family. Depending on which part of India the family is from, the Bride’s sisters, friends, and cousins join the procession to the mandap.

Indian Bridal Entrances

Rather than a traditional ‘walk down the aisle’, Hindu Brides are ushered down the aisle on a small carriage, Doli. The male relatives on the Bride’s side usually carry Doli down the aisle. After she makes her way to the Mandap, the ritual of Varmala begins.

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Are You A Photographer?

If you’re a photographer interested in learning more about how to shoot cultural weddings, including Hindu, Jewish, Persian, Vietnamese, Korean, and Chinese weddings, we recommend our wedding photography education, available at SLR Lounge.